Emma was 32 when she had her first child. Like most new parents, she meant to write a will. She discussed potential guardians with her partner—her sister seemed like the obvious choice—but they never actually put it in writing.
When Emma and her partner died in a car accident 18 months later, their daughter Lily became the subject of a family court dispute. Emma's sister and Emma's parents both applied for guardianship. The court process took seven months.
During that time, Lily lived with Emma's parents while her aunt fought for custody. Eventually, the court appointed Emma's sister as guardian, but the family relationships were permanently damaged. The legal costs exceeded £18,000.
According to 2025 UK will-making statistics, only 5.6% of people who create wills cite guardianship for children as a reason for creating a will, and just 2.4% view appointing guardians as the main benefit of having a will. Yet if both parents die without appointing guardians, a court will decide who raises your children—and it may not be the person you would have chosen.
This guide will help you make this crucial decision with confidence.
Legal Disclaimer: This article provides general information about appointing guardians for children in UK wills and does not constitute legal advice. For advice specific to your individual situation, particularly if you have complex family circumstances or significant assets, please consult a qualified solicitor. WUHLD's online will service is suitable for straightforward UK estates and guardian appointments; complex situations may require professional legal advice.
Why Appointing Guardians in Your Will Matters
Under Section 5 of the Children Act 1989, if both parents die without appointing guardians, the court decides who raises your children. This isn't a simple administrative process—it's a formal legal proceeding that can fundamentally alter your children's lives.
When you die without naming guardians, those bereaved children become the responsibility of the court. Until the court appoints a guardian, your children might be taken into care or placed in temporary arrangements while relatives petition for guardianship.
The court process creates several serious problems. Multiple relatives may apply for guardianship, forcing a judge to choose between family members who all love your children. Legal fees for guardianship applications can reach £5,000 to £18,000 or more—money that should support your children's future, not pay solicitors.
Most importantly, your children face the trauma of losing both parents plus uncertainty about their future. They may live in temporary placements during court proceedings. They may be separated from siblings. They may be removed from familiar homes, schools, and communities.
Without your written wishes, relatives may fight for custody, causing additional trauma for grieving children and permanent damage to family relationships. The court will prioritize your child's best interests, but the judge doesn't know your wishes, your values, or the specific people you trust most.
When you appoint guardians in your will, responsibility for your children's care passes immediately to that guardian. There's no delay, no court battle, no uncertainty. Your children know exactly who will care for them, and your chosen guardians can step in without legal obstacles.
Understanding Legal Guardianship in the UK
A legal guardian is a person appointed in your will who gains parental responsibility for your children if both parents die. Under the Children Act 1989, guardians have all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and their property.
This means guardians can make decisions about your child's education, medical care, religion, and where they live. They can receive Guardian's Allowance (£22.10 per week) plus Child Benefit. They can access funds left in trust for your child's benefit if you structure your will appropriately.
Guardian appointments only take effect when both parents with parental responsibility have died. If one parent survives, that parent retains full parental responsibility and your guardian appointment is ignored. This is crucial to understand—your sister won't become guardian if you die but your partner survives.
Guardian appointments are for children under 18 only. Once your child reaches 18, they're legally an adult and guardianship ends automatically.
For a valid guardian appointment, you must meet specific legal requirements. The appointment must be in writing, signed, and dated. You must be a parent with parental responsibility. You can make the appointment in your will or in a separate document, though using your will is strongly recommended to ensure everything is coordinated.
Your chosen guardian must be 18 or older. There's no legal requirement to ask them first, but it's essential in practice—a guardian can decline to serve when the time comes if they were never properly consulted.
Here's how guardian appointments work in different scenarios:
| Scenario | Guardian Appointment Effect |
|---|---|
| Both parents deceased | Guardian gains full parental responsibility |
| One parent survives | Guardian appointment ignored; surviving parent has responsibility |
| Both parents incapacitated | Guardian appointment does NOT take effect (different legal process required) |
What guardians cannot do is also important to understand. They cannot automatically override decisions of a surviving parent with parental responsibility. They cannot act while both parents are alive, even if both parents are incapacitated—that requires a different legal mechanism entirely.
The Essential Qualities to Look for in a Guardian
Choosing guardians requires careful thought about what matters most for your children's specific needs. There's no perfect choice—every potential guardian has strengths and limitations. Your job is to choose the best option for your children.
Emotional connection and love for your children is the foundation. Your chosen guardian should already have a relationship with your children. Your children should feel comfortable and safe with them. The guardian should have genuine willingness and enthusiasm, not just a sense of obligation.
Sarah and Tom chose Tom's brother and sister-in-law as guardians over Sarah's parents. Sarah's parents were hurt initially, but Sarah explained: "You'll be 75 when our son is 10. We need guardians who can actively parent him through his teenage years. We want you to be his grandparents, not his exhausted primary carers."
Shared values and parenting philosophy matter enormously. Consider whether your potential guardian's views on discipline, education, and religion align with yours. Think about whether their lifestyle is compatible with how you want your children raised. Consider whether they understand your children's specific needs.
If your potential guardian has different religious beliefs, different parenting styles, or different priorities, have honest conversations. Can they respect and continue the upbringing you've started?
Practical stability and capability includes age and health appropriate for raising children long-term. If you're considering grandparents, will they have the physical and mental energy to raise young children through their teenage years? What happens if they become ill or pass away before your child turns 18?
Consider whether a couple has a stable relationship or whether a single person has a strong support network. Think about whether their living situation can accommodate additional children.
Financial stability matters, but wealth doesn't. Your guardian needs to manage household finances responsibly and understand how to access funds you leave for children's care. However, you can separate financial capability from parenting capability by appointing different people as financial guardians and personal guardians.
Location and practical considerations can significantly impact your children's lives. How far does your potential guardian live from your children's current school, friends, and community? What would be the impact of relocation on your children's stability? How close are they to other family members who are important in your children's lives?
Willingness and informed consent is non-negotiable in practice. Your guardian must genuinely agree to the responsibility and understand the commitment involved. They need to discuss your wishes for your children's upbringing before you finalize your decision.
Many parents face the dilemma between siblings and friends. Your sister may share your values but live 300 miles away. Your best friend may live next door but have different views on education. There's no perfect answer—weigh what matters most for your children's wellbeing.
Different values require honest assessment. Can your potential guardian respect what matters to you? Will they continue the traditions and practices you've established? Or will your children's upbringing change fundamentally?
Single vs Couple Guardians: What You Need to Know
Most parents appoint a couple as guardians when choosing married or long-term partners. This provides a two-parent household structure, shared responsibility and support, and distributes the enormous task between two people.
However, appointing a couple carries a specific risk. If the couple separates after your death, both retain guardianship unless one steps down. This can create conflict about where your children should live and who should make major decisions.
When Clare asked her sister to be guardian, her sister initially hesitated: "I have three children already. I don't know if I can handle five." Clare explained: "I'm leaving £200,000 in life insurance plus the house sale proceeds in trust for the children. You wouldn't be financially burdened. And I've named Mum as a backup if you truly couldn't manage." Her sister agreed, understanding both the support available and the contingency plan.
If a guardian couple separates after your death, both remain legal guardians unless one formally relinquishes parental responsibility. The court may need to resolve disputes about the child's living arrangements. You can specify in your will what should happen, though courts will always prioritize the child's best interests at that time.
Appointing a single guardian is appropriate for single friends or relatives with stable support networks. It's legally simpler with no risk of couple conflicts. Single guardians can provide equally loving and stable homes as couples.
You can appoint two single people as joint guardians if that works for your family. However, appointing more than two guardians is generally not recommended due to potential for disagreements, except when appointing two couples who are close and aligned.
The best practice is to appoint one person or one couple as primary guardians, then appoint backup guardians in case your first choice cannot or will not serve. This is far more effective than appointing multiple people who must make joint decisions.
If you appoint your brother and his wife as guardians and they divorce five years after your death, both will retain parental responsibility for your children unless one voluntarily steps down. Your will can express your preference, such as "If my brother and his wife separate, I would prefer my children remain with my brother," but the court will ultimately decide based on the children's best interests at that time.
Note: The information provided about what happens if guardian couples separate is general guidance. Courts always prioritize the child's best interests in each specific case. If you have concerns about this scenario, consult a family law solicitor.
Backup Guardians: Why You Need a Plan B (and Plan C)
Your first-choice guardian may predecease you. They may become seriously ill or incapacitated by the time you die. Their circumstances may change dramatically—divorce, financial hardship, relocation abroad. They may decline to serve when the time comes, despite earlier agreement.
Mark and Lisa appointed Lisa's sister (age 32) as primary guardian, Lisa's brother (age 38) as first backup, and Mark's best friend (age 35) as second backup. When Lisa's sister moved to Australia three years later, Mark and Lisa updated their will to make Lisa's brother the primary guardian.
Backup guardians are essential protection against circumstances beyond your control. At minimum, appoint one backup guardian. Two backups is recommended for comprehensive protection.
Consider appointing backups with different characteristics from your primary choice. If your first choice is grandparents, your second choice could be a younger sibling. If your first choice is a couple, your backup could be a single friend with different strengths.
Backup guardians automatically take over if primary guardians cannot serve. List them in order of preference in your will. Each backup must meet the same legal requirements—over 18, willing, and capable.
Your will should specify the hierarchy clearly:
- Primary guardian: [Name]
- If unavailable: First backup guardian [Name]
- If unavailable: Second backup guardian [Name]
You must review your guardian appointments regularly. Check every 3-5 years at minimum. Update after major life changes—births, deaths, divorces, serious illnesses, or relocations. Update if your guardian's circumstances change significantly. Update as your children grow, because what works for a toddler may not work for a teenager.
The Conversation: How to Talk to Potential Guardians
You can legally appoint guardians without asking them first. However, in practice, this conversation is absolutely essential. A guardian can decline when the time comes if never properly consulted. Your guardian needs to understand your wishes, values, and expectations.
Have this conversation before you name them in your will ideally, or immediately after drafting your will if you need to finalize it urgently. Never spring this on them as a surprise after your death.
Start with a clear, direct approach: "We're putting together our wills now that we have children, and we wanted to talk to you about something important. We'd like to ask you to be guardians for [children's names] if something happened to both of us. We know this is a huge responsibility, and we want to explain what it would involve and answer any questions you have."
Discuss your wishes for your children's upbringing in detail. Explain your education priorities and approach. Describe religious or cultural practices you want continued. List activities and interests you want supported. Outline your discipline philosophy.
Cover practical arrangements thoroughly. Discuss where children would live—with the guardian or remaining in your family home if financially viable. Explain how children's inheritance and trust funds would be managed. Clarify the role of other family members like grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
Address financial support directly. Tell them what you're leaving to support children's care. Explain that they'll receive Guardian's Allowance (£22.10 per week) and Child Benefit. Describe any life insurance proceeds designated for children. Explain how funds will be managed through trustees and trust structures. Understanding will costs helps you plan for your children's future.
Listen to their concerns and questions. How will this impact their own family? Do they have age or health considerations? What are the career or lifestyle implications? What support would they have from extended family?
If they're hesitant, acknowledge that you're asking something massive. Emphasize the statistical unlikelihood—both parents dying while children are under 18 is rare. Explain why you chose them specifically. Give them time to discuss with their own family. Offer to revisit the conversation.
If they decline, thank them for their honesty. Don't apply guilt or pressure. Move to your backup choice.
Create a Letter of Wishes or Guardianship Guide to accompany your will. This isn't legally required but is highly recommended. Outline your children's routines, preferences, medical needs, friendships, and activities. Describe your hopes for their upbringing. Make it personal—what matters most to you for your children's future?
Common Mistakes to Avoid When Choosing Guardians
Choosing based on who will be offended is perhaps the most common mistake. You appoint your mother as guardian because she'll be hurt if you don't, even though you know your sister would be better suited.
The problem is that your children's wellbeing must come first. Family politics are secondary. Your children will live with this decision for years.
The solution is to have honest conversations about your reasoning. Most family members will understand when you explain your thinking clearly and compassionately as part of creating your will.
Assuming grandparents are the default choice ignores critical practical realities. You automatically appoint grandparents without considering age, health, and energy levels.
James appointed his parents as guardians in his will at age 25. At age 40, his parents were 72 and 75—no longer physically able to raise his two young children. Because he never updated his will, his parents had to petition the court to decline guardianship, causing a six-month delay while alternative guardians were appointed.
Grandparents may be in their 70s when your child is a teenager. They may not have the stamina for active parenting of adolescents. Consider age honestly. Appoint younger guardians as primary choice, with grandparents playing a beloved family support role.
Never having the conversation means naming guardians in your will but never telling them or discussing your wishes. Your guardian may decline when the time comes. They won't know your priorities for children's upbringing. They'll feel unprepared and uncertain.
The solution is to have the difficult conversation. It's uncomfortable for 30 minutes but protects your children forever.
Not appointing backup guardians leaves you vulnerable. You name only one person or couple with no alternatives. If they can't serve, you're back to a court deciding who raises your children.
Always appoint at least one backup, preferably two. This ensures your children will always have someone you trust.
Forgetting to update after life changes is extremely common. Your brother was single when you appointed him 10 years ago. Now he's married with three children and living abroad. Your 10-year-old will may no longer reflect the best choice.
Review guardian appointments every 3-5 years and after major life events—births, deaths, divorces, relocations. Keep your will current with your family's reality.
Confusing godparents with legal guardians creates dangerous assumptions. You assume your children's godparents will automatically become guardians.
Godparents have no legal rights to your children. Only guardians named in your will have legal authority. If you want godparents to be guardians, you must explicitly appoint them in your will.
Not coordinating guardians with your estate plan creates confusion and potential conflict. You appoint your sister as guardian but leave your estate to your parents in trust for children.
This creates confusion over who makes financial decisions. It may cause conflict between the person raising children and the people controlling money. Ensure your will coordinates who raises children and who manages money for their benefit.
Financial Guardians vs Personal Guardians: Should You Separate Them?
A personal guardian raises your children, makes day-to-day decisions, and has parental responsibility. A financial guardian or trustee manages the money and assets left for your children's benefit and makes financial decisions about how funds are used.
Keep these roles together when your guardian is financially responsible and trustworthy, you want to keep things simple, you're leaving a modest estate under £100,000, or you trust your guardian to manage both roles well.
Rachel appointed her sister Emma as guardian for her two children but named her brother James (an accountant) as trustee of the £400,000 trust fund. Emma makes all day-to-day decisions about the children's lives, but James manages the investments and approves significant expenses like private school fees or orthodontic treatment.
Separate the roles when your ideal guardian isn't financially sophisticated, you're leaving substantial assets of £250,000 or more, you want professional oversight of children's inheritance, or you want checks and balances where a trustee must approve major expenses.
In practice, the personal guardian has custody and makes parenting decisions about education, activities, discipline, and daily life. The financial guardian manages trust funds and approves withdrawals for children's benefit. The guardian requests funds for children's needs, and the trustee approves reasonable requests.
This prevents potential misuse while ensuring children are well cared for. However, it can create friction if the guardian and trustee disagree. The guardian may feel untrusted or micromanaged. It adds complexity to your estate plan.
If you separate the roles, appoint someone who will work collaboratively with your guardian. Ideally, choose someone who respects your guardian's parenting decisions but has financial expertise. Many parents appoint their solicitor, accountant, or financially savvy sibling as trustee while appointing their best friend or sister as personal guardian.
Here's a comparison of the two approaches:
| Aspect | Guardian Only | Separate Guardian + Trustee |
|---|---|---|
| Simplicity | Simple | More complex |
| Best for | Modest estates, financially capable guardians | Larger estates, financial oversight needed |
| Potential for conflict | Low | Medium (if personalities clash) |
| Financial protection | Relies on guardian's judgment | Built-in checks and balances |
Note: Separating financial and personal guardianship involves trust structures and fiduciary duties that may require professional legal advice. WUHLD's service allows you to appoint executors and trustees, but complex trust arrangements should be reviewed by a solicitor.
What Happens If You Don't Appoint Guardians
Under the Children Act 1989, if no guardian is appointed in your will, the court determines who should care for your children. This process is formal, lengthy, and potentially traumatic for everyone involved. Without a will, intestacy rules decide everything—not just guardianship, but also your entire estate distribution.
The court prioritizes your child's best interests but doesn't know your wishes. The process typically takes months to resolve. Courts must carefully assess each applicant's suitability and may require home studies, background checks, and extensive documentation.
When both of Aaron's parents died without a will, three relatives applied for guardianship: his maternal grandmother, his paternal aunt, and his godfather. The court case took 11 months. During that time, 4-year-old Aaron lived with his grandmother while the case was decided. The court eventually appointed his aunt, requiring Aaron to move cities and change schools. The family relationships never recovered.
Several outcomes are possible when courts must decide. A relative may apply for guardianship, and the court assesses their suitability and grants parental responsibility. Multiple relatives may apply, forcing the court to resolve the dispute through costly and time-consuming proceedings. If no suitable relatives come forward, children may enter foster care while the court seeks permanent placement. Children may move between temporary carers during the court process.
The emotional impact on children is severe. They're already grieving the loss of both parents. Add uncertainty about their future and where they'll live permanently. They may be separated from siblings during the process. They may be removed from their familiar home, school, and community.
Financial costs drain resources that should support your children. Legal fees for guardianship applications range from £5,000 to £18,000 or more. Money that could support your children's education and wellbeing goes to solicitors instead. Delays in accessing your estate mean delays in providing financial support for children's immediate needs.
Family conflict causes additional trauma. Relatives may fight over who should care for children, believing they know best. Court battles create long-term damage to family relationships. This creates additional trauma for children who are already grieving and need family unity.
All of this can be avoided by spending 15 minutes appointing guardians in your will today.
How to Appoint Guardians in Your Will: The Practical Steps
Start by making your decision. Use the criteria in this guide to evaluate potential guardians based on emotional connection, shared values, practical stability, and willingness to serve. Discuss with your partner or co-parent—you must agree if you both have parental responsibility. Consider backup guardians with a minimum of one, ideally two.
Have the conversation with your chosen guardians before or immediately after creating your will. Discuss your wishes for children's upbringing in detail. Address their concerns and questions about impact on their family. Confirm they're willing to accept this enormous responsibility.
Document your wishes in two ways. In your will, include the formal guardian appointment that's legally binding under Section 5 of the Children Act 1989. Optionally but recommended, create a Letter of Wishes with personal guidance about children's upbringing, routines, preferences, and values.
Meet the legal requirements for a valid appointment. The appointment must be in writing, signed, and dated. Include full names and addresses of all guardians. List your children's full names. You must have parental responsibility to make the appointment. Include backup guardians in order of preference.
You can use wording like this: "Under Section 5 of the Children Act 1989, I appoint [Full Name] of [Address] to be the guardian of my child/children [Names] in the event of my death. If [First Guardian] is unable or unwilling to act, I appoint [Backup Guardian Full Name] of [Address]."
You may add specific wishes such as: "I wish for my children to continue their education at [school] if possible and to maintain close relationships with their grandparents."
Store your will safely where your guardians can access it. Tell your guardians where your will is stored. Consider giving them a copy of the relevant guardian appointment section. Register your will with the UK Will Register (optional but recommended for easy location).
Review and update regularly. Review every 3-5 years at minimum. Update after births, deaths, divorces, or major life changes. Update if your guardian's circumstances change significantly—health issues, financial problems, relocation, or relationship changes.
You can appoint guardians for your children in a legally valid UK will in just 15 minutes with WUHLD. Our step-by-step platform guides you through each decision, including who should care for your children if the unthinkable happens.
In Step 3 of WUHLD's will creation process, you can add up to four guardians with primary and backup options. Include full names and addresses for each guardian. Preview your completed will before paying to see exactly how your guardian appointments will appear. Download four documents: your will plus guides for witnesses, executors, and estate information.
Protect Your Children's Future Today
Key takeaways:
- Appointing guardians in your will is the only way to ensure your children are raised by people you choose and trust
- Look for guardians who love your children, share your values, and have the practical stability to raise them long-term
- Always appoint backup guardians in case your first choice cannot serve—minimum one, preferably two
- Have the difficult conversation with your guardians before or immediately after creating your will
- Review your guardian appointments every 3-5 years and update when circumstances change
Choosing guardians for your children is one of the hardest decisions you'll ever make—and one of the most important. The weight of the decision reflects the depth of your love for your children.
By taking action today, you're giving your children the greatest gift: the certainty that they'll be cared for by someone you trust, someone who loves them, someone who will honor your values and provide the stable, loving home they deserve.
You can create a legally valid UK will that appoints guardians for your children in just 15 minutes with WUHLD. Answer straightforward questions, preview your completed will for free, and only pay £49.99 when you're ready to download.
For just £49.99 (vs £650+ for a solicitor), you'll get:
- Your complete, legally binding will with guardian appointments
- A 12-page Testator Guide explaining how to execute your will properly
- A Witness Guide to give to your witnesses
- A Complete Asset Inventory document
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